What Not to Fear
Posted in: Personal Reflections | Comments (0)
It seems that every few weeks there is a new scare. This week it is the swine flu. Several weeks ago it was the complete collapse of the American economy combined with a possible collapse of the dollar. Many weeks prior it was imminent war with Iran, and before that it was E. Coli in spinach and tomatoes. And let’s not forget $5.00 gasoline. All this in a mere year.
I’ve witnessed quite a number of scares in my 30+ years of life. I even recall bits of the Cold War, and thinking as a young child that world was going to be destroyed by nuclear war between the US and the USSR. I remember listening to Art Bell back when I was in University and hearing about potential epidemics, martial take-overs, and disasters just waiting to envelope the world and destroy “civilization as we know it.” There was Columbine, Y2K, Aids, various threats of world war, alien conspiracies, asteroid collisions, ice ages, global warming, every single one of which has been blown way out of practical proportion and it turns out not one has harmed me.
Honestly, I must admit that such claims have shaped my life, decisions and perspective. I hate to admit it because none of the imminent disasters were true. Not a damn one. Yet, my goals of being self-sufficient, of living a rural, agricultural life, of being a part of a tighter community are shaped in part by these faux threats. Actually, I don’t think that is quite true. The goals most likely came from my parents who held these views (and also similar fears!), but my methods and ways of achieving these goals were affected directly.
Fear that the world will suffer dramatically by 1988, 1998, 2000, 2001, 2004, 2008, 2010, or 2012 has added a sense of desperation to my actions, and therefore a degree of sloppiness. There were times when I acted hastily instead of conservatively. I once squandered money on a van when I could have saved it for land. I bought land in Wyoming when I could have been tucking it away for something more practical. I even took to drugs at a time when I could have been building community or creating poetry–all due to reactions to fears about imagined future events. Fear has caused more stumbles in my life than any actual event.
But then again, there are tragedies that do happen. Long before Columbine, when I was just 3 days from my 19th birthday, there was a shooting in my dorm building and I held the dying body of another 19 year old in the hallway of Langford Hall, while parts of his innards squished between my toes from when I stepped toward his body. That was true tragedy, but it was not a media event like the dog food recall. Nor did it destroy me.
The fact is the media lies about how scary the world is. The world is very rarely scary. What is worse, the real scary things, like a car accident, or getting caught up in an abusive relationship, or drug addictions, or medical treatment errors, or financial mistakes are not sufficiently covered by the media. I guess this is because these are all things that are somehow “our fault,” and we most often recover from such personal tragedies.
So I caution folks, much worse than the swine flu, or terrorism, or nuclear winter, or 2012, is your choice about who you live with, your habits, and fear itself. Always remain objective, and confident, and give yourself 10 times the credit you do now. Never take the media at face value because they don’t know you. Fear unbalances your perspective and causes mistakes and weakness.
Giving into media fears is the real danger. Changing your life or habits, or goals as a result of what some article on the internet says, or a talking head on the TV blabs will damage your life’s course far more than ignoring them.
Allen @ May 6, 2009
Day Planner: Then and Now
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I’ve taken to using a day planner. The day planner is a recycled one that was going to be binned by the store as it was out of date.
The last time I owned/used a day planner was 1998–ten years ago, when i was 28. At the time I lived in Missoula, Montana. In that day planner I kept appointments related to my job as a program manager for disabled folks, deadlines for the publication I produced 4 times a year, called R.A.W.–Radical Artists and Writers–and of course the numbers for “persons of interest”: crushes; past, present, and future.
In those days…mind you a scant ten years ago…many folks carried day planners because there were no PDA’s (ten years ago, a PDA was: a Public Display of Affection, like kissing, or making out in a restaurant), Outlook was archaic, laptops not so lap friendly, and the cell phone was still mostly known as a car phone. The day planner, when used efficiently, would be referred to as it’s owner’s “brain”. Everything of importance could be stored in the day planner, one’s very life course plotted out by days and hours, like star maps plotting the destiny of sailing ships.
In 1998, I was on the edge of the abyss, torn between reality and possibility. I wanted glory; personal, narcissistic glory, the sort that earned men renown and afterlife. I hoped to be some sort of artist: a cultural asset. My “art” as I pridefully referred to it, was a mix-mash of half-talents; writing, poetry, sketching, guitar playing. Conversely, my more employable abilities: fairness, intelligence, charm, communication, were earning my living. I wanted more. I plotted my days in my day planner only to see increasing demands of work and less time to be free and creative, to absorb myself for a whole day or a few days to a task. So much creativity is born of a long process of nurturing vague and shy senses. The day planner was foretelling doom: soon there will be no time to sink into creativity if I was to continue to pay bills, become established, and gain material stability.
But that was then, and this is now. This “new” recycled day planner and star map is on my desk and in my hands. A Celtic Tree gaurds the cover, reminding me each time I glance at it of the roots of time and life. The old ways of pencil and paper reassure me of myself…that it wasn’t merely a dream: that time of life outside the Matrix. Again my days are given character long before they arrive, and my commitments shout out sounding like a chorus badly in need of an instructor. The commitments that shape my days and destiny are times I meet my clients to conduct our business, work with volunteer activities, and most importantly, the needs and timing of our farming enterprise. Then, too, there are birthdays: mine, James’, my dog’s, family, friends; and holidays, both real and made up; goals for personal improvement; nagging reminders of things I habitually procrastinate; and perhaps a phone number or two. Listed for this week, I have meetings with the peaceworks, job site visits, and the deadline for completing the chicken coop. I also have the task of updating my resume, looking for more work, looking for another dog, keeping up my own finances, doing my taxes (overdue, but on extension) and about a dozen tasks around the house.
Many of the entries could be repeats of that time ten years ago: work appointments, finances, projects, meetings, and so on. The stars guiding are not terribly different.
Yet, under the stars, I am now blissful.
Why the change? How the change? (Is there a change?–a question for Josh) Answers to these questions elude me, and perhaps I will not even delve much. All I know is that I understand why I was once angry, i can put words to the feelings and justify them, but I do not understand why, with the world more or less the same as ever, I am no longer angry.
Allen @ April 21, 2009
Posted in: Farming and Rural Life | Comments (0)
Well it’s a cold, wet day and they say it’s going to snow tonight. Apparently Kansas City will be shut down by 10″ of snow. Here, around Columbia, there might be a couple of inches of snow, though tomorrow’s high is in the high 40s so the snow will be gone by dinner. We did cover the garden with a big sheet of plastic. It’s just a precaution really, it was colder a couple of weeks ago and the seedlings lived through that just fine. The spinach is getting it’s real leaves and the new rows I planted are coming up now too. In another 4-5 weeks we’ll be eating our own greens! I can’t wait.
Happily we did manage to save some seeds from tomatos, corn, pickling cucumbers, and some other things. I’ve planted tomatos inside and the sprout rate is very good. It’s great to have heritage varieties of plants. They say that the varieties will adapt to the climate of the area they are planted in after a few generations. In theory we should get stronger, better plants over the years.
Over the week I was able to get some very good help from our friend Matt to hang the gates to our backyard. These are 12′ long steel-tube gates so that we can drive through to the garage. This has been the most troublesome piece of fencing our backyard. Now that it is done however, I need a nice day to finish pulling the fence around the yard. Hopefully by next weekend the back yard will be fenced and the dog will finally have his own “dog park” at home (minus the other dogs).
Speaking of dogs, Ritter is doing well, but is acting like a defiant teenager by running off and refusing to come back when I call him. Fortunately he is not running off too far, but if he sees a squirrel or a cat, or just gets the urge to swim in the pond, he takes off and will not come back to me. So then I have to go and get him and bring him back and put him in his crate. I’m hoping that he will feel more able to exercise and run and patrol once he has the run of a yard instead of having to be on a chain.
Still, we may find ourselves getting another dog. Ritter loves other dogs and shows such good-humor with them that I am tempted to get another dog to be his friend and playmate. If we do get another, it will be a large dog and a fixed female. We aren’t ready for puppies.
Also there is a possibility that I will build a chicken coop in the next few weeks. We have the goal of starting a flock this year and the sooner we get it going the better they will endure winter. I am looking for plans for chicken coops but, it isn’t real easy to find plans that really convey the final project. So, the project may be ad hoc. We’ll see.
Well, here’s to tea on a snowy day in March!
Allen @ March 29, 2009
Springtime: Everything comes alive!
Posted in: Activism, Farming and Rural Life, Personal Reflections | Comments (0)
Well it’s Spring! The days are longer, the frogs are chirping, the birds are everywhere and, of course, the plants are coming back. Spring also means time to get to work. James and I are kicking our projects into high gear. We’ve planted our cool crops outside and the warm-season ones indoors. So far that means spinach, peas, lettuce, kale, radish, and carrots outside and zucchini, cucumbers, tomatos, sage, lavender, valerian, pickling cucumbers, broccoli, marigolds, onions, and celery.
We’ve learned several things so far. You can plant these cool season crops very early, we started February 20th, and they will come up when the time is right, which was about two and half weeks after planting. Also, just because you plant seeds in every little container of the seeding containers does not mean they will all live. Plant several more seeds than you will want. We’ve also learned kale does come back in the second year. Kale is a biennial and mostly just seeds on the second year, but if you want seeds, don’t dig ‘em up until they are done. Also you have to take advantage of the environmental conditions as they happen. If the soil is dry and warm enough to work for a day, get out there and do it! Otherwise, it will rain or get cold and you miss a week or a few. Also, if you really want to eat mostly from your garden, you will need to plant quite a bit. Most of the work is in the beginning of the season.
But the garden isn’t the only aspect of our work. We are fencing our backyard and putting in gates so we can drive through to the garage. We rented a two-man auger and spent today drilling holes and planting posts. There will be two gates and the posts they attach to are planted in concrete. The rest are in the dirt. We found that within a foot or so is very hard clay. Fortunately, the ground wasn’t too dry nor too wet to make the drilling too hard. We also augered 12 holes for our newest project: hops. Hops grows to an enormous 15-20′ tall. They are vines and require long twines suspended up to 20′ high. So we also augered three more post holes for what will be 20′ tall pvc posts along which we will suspend a cable and hang twine to the ground for the hops to climb. So we drilled those three post holes, all twelve hops holes and six post holes for the yard fence and planted the posts in three hours today. whew. Am I worn out!
Unfortunately, there are too many things to do than there is time. For instance, while I was able to help a little by shuttling sound equipment, I missed the Yes We Can! Peace Rally in Columbia. It is a good thing to stand up and remind folks that we don’t have peace and unfortunately, our tax money is being used to spread war, violence, and terror around the world even still. In fact, over the last couple of months I have heard from several young people that they are being called up to active duty to be sent to Iraq and Afghanistan. Obama is increasing the number of troops to go the graveyard of the Soviet Union and frankly I just don’t understand why. What the hell is so important about Afghanistan anyway? So important that we have to spend billions of dollars and hundreds or thousands of young people’s lives? Really? Cm’on Obama, give us what you promised: Change!
It is hard to be inspired by politicians these days. Even when “hope” is in the air, I always know there is still a snake in the grass. If people wonder why James and I moved out to the country to take the reigns of our own destiny, strive for increased self-sufficiency and to be a part of a local community, well, it’s because no one else, not even a icon of populist hope, can give us what is needed for a good, satisfying life.
Thank the gods for good people for plants and animals. Thank the gods for our health and capable bodies. Thank the gods for new beginnings. Thank the gods for Spring!
Allen @ March 22, 2009
Spring Video
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I posted a video showing the house, barn, garden and land on youtube, and you can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3HVR-gBT7s .
Allen @ March 16, 2009
Gaza and Mid-West US: More in common than we’d like.
Posted in: Activism, Farming and Rural Life | Comments (0)
One of the favorite targets of invading and occuping armies are farmers. Everyone attackes them. In Palestine, olive groves are uprooted and burned. But in our dear ‘ol USA our farmers, and folks just working in Agricultural businesses are under attack from Monsanto. Make no mistake it is a war. Monsanto may not be using bombs or missles (yet) but they are using goons (probably armed), GPS tracking, bribery, court-rigging and intimidation in their attempt take over farming in the USA. Make no mistake, Monsanto’s goal is to change those farms that sprawl from Arkansas to Illinois into fields cultivated with franken-food and worked by cheap, illegal imported labor.
Monsanto Investigator in Illinois Laughs They Are Doing ‘Rural Cleansing’
Support your local farmers. Buy from them directly. Get to know one or more. There may come a time when they need serious help.
Allen @ January 14, 2009
Choices and Consequences
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For the last couple of weeks we have been “laying low.” Call it a winter hibernation of sorts. Call it the Holiday hide-a-way. Call it recharging our batteries. But we haven’t been simply wasting all the time. As a matter of fact, we both have given up an enduring bad habit. We quit smoking.
Frankly it’s embarrassing to me that I ever smoked, ya know, being a believer in personal responsibility and independent action. Yet, I smoked on average 2/3’s of a pack a day for about 15 years. For the first ten years, while I was mostly in my 20’s, smoking was more a novelty, a flirtation with mortality and danger. Smoking provided me with moments of serious reflection about what could happen to me in those far away days when I would age and be old, and cough, and wheeze. Smoking was a glimpse into maturity and old age.
But the last five or so years of smoking have been less than interesting. Cigarettes, rather than suggesting some time far off, some condition in the future, spoke about existing weaknesses. The Habit reminded me of my dependence. Every pack was a testimony against my protested belief in independence. Every time I put a five-dollar bill on the counter for that next box of American Spirits, I gave away time and effort in paid work and time and effort my body would need when I age yet more. Those little “smoky treats” started to wear thin on my nerves.
For the last two weeks we’ve been smoke free. Just baby steps I suppose, but I am at the point now where I am no longer “quitting smoking.” The question facing me in times of weakness is “Why would I start smoking?” Realizing that smoking is now and always has been a choice is the key. There is no addiction so strong that our choice is rendered powerless. I know some will not agree, but I speak from experience: cigarettes are not the only thing I have given up.
Realizing how strong our choices are is the gift of “addictions.” Giving up things that are so deeply a part of our bodily experience shows us the power of the mind. The mind can do anything. We can choose to harm ourselves with bad actions all the while denying we are doing it by choice. We can also choose to do what is best for us and alter our course of life simply by the actions of a single day.
When I began smoking so long ago, I was very young, struggling to navigate the world and feeling my way around the obstacles of life: finances, relationships, sexual energy, social complexities. I lacked mentors or family that could guide me and was a genuinely lost soul. It is of little wonder that I would chose an anchor to hang on to, an anchor that betrayed my own feelings of lack of control. After all, lack of control is what a negative habit like smoking symbolizes.
This last year however, has been orienting. For many years, I have striven to arrive just where I am at now. I am in my proper place, finding the proper social community, and facing the right direction. That is not to say I have accomplished all that I want to accomplish, far from it, but I am at the right place to launch my actions into the right direction. It is no wonder that I cast off that burdensome anchor of smoking.
Here’s to the New Year!
Allen @ December 27, 2008
New Podcast of “Uncovered” with Allen Vaught
Posted in: Activism | Comments (0)
This podcast is on Gay Marriage, “Civil Rights issue or the Scourge of Culture?”
Be aware, this is a crude attempt at podcasting. I am giving it the basic framework of a “real” podcast, but I have a lot of work to do on presentation. So, don’t worry if you feel you must turn it off LOL.
Allen @ December 25, 2008
How to be an activist without adding to the trouble of living…?
Posted in: Activism | Comments (0)
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel that the world is troubled–deeply, pathologically troubled. The world I am talking about is the world of humans, of mankind. Our human world is pretty troubled. I mean, we do not feel that we can live happily, without care, full of spontenaity and joy. Instead we seem held down by routine, obligation, and fear. In detail, we struggle with finances with no real hope for financial security or even stability, we fear strangers, that they may abduct our children, drive their vehicles into ours, or take advantage of us in some way. We distrust authority figures, corrupt police, deceitful politicians, impersonal corporations. Our health does not seem our own, what with all the environmental toxins, viruses and germs, and genetic flaws plaguing our bodily integrity. And who can put our humpty dumpty bodies together again? Our own families and spouses seem suspicious, deceptive, uncooperative, mean. What sort of world is this really?
Yet, I dare tell you, as I dare to tell myself, that all the trouble in the world is %90 in our own head. Much of what happens is far away and abstract…therefore an unknown. Media is good at luring into believing we are “right there” and somehow a part of troubles that are far, far away. Of course, we are “right there”, but not because of the media, but because we are all a part of this human world. Media, including the internet lures us away from what is closest…and oddly, happiness and joy are most often right by our side. Two things tend to cause happiness in people: quiet and acheivement. Quiet evening strolls liven the soul. So too does finishing some involved project. Joy is a result of very near action. Where there is joy, there is health, happiness, and spontenaity.
Activism, the engaging of the public to move toward or away from specific issues asks us to step outside of our “comfort zone” and engage others who do not understand or agree with the perspective we advocate. On the face of it, we add to the notion the world is troubled. We point out flaws of current events and ways, or point out potential disasters and dilemas. We ask that others take different actions than they have been, that they consider ideas they may find troublesome or unsettling. All of this and often we are approaching people as strangers…as people without a bank of trust. How do we perform activism in an elevated way, a way that encourages others to see the world as less troubled, yet also to move them toward our perspectives and actions. How do we present political and social action as joyous and untroubling?
For many years activists have focused on confrontations: marches, sit ins, traffic disruption. These are the tactics of civil disobedience. Personally I feel as if I am contributing to the trouble of the world in those situations. Another way is through messaging. Messaging can be done in many ways. Messaging can be signs, blogging, editorials, commercials, stories, poems, sermons and any other method of conveying a message. Some messages are troubling, others are inspirational.
As activists, we have the opportunity to deliver a message of inspiration that helps people to see how their actions help soothe the world. As we all take our small steps toward improving our small areas of live, we actually improve the entire world. It is true that I am likely unable to help the children of Somalii pirates. But I can remind the driver behind me how we all Coexist. I think a lot about how we message and I think it is important to show people how we, by engaging others, make a less troubled world. Our words alone can help others be less troubled and also bring them to want to participate in the pursuit of less troubling times. So I hope I continue to learn from this line of thought, since I see much room for improvement, and become better at showing a less troubled world comes from being more conscious of others, acting near to our selves and presenting uplifting messages.
Allen @ December 22, 2008
While we Feast and Celebrate, our Neighbors were Raided
Posted in: Farming and Rural Life | Comments (0)
This season of winter holidays I, and so many I know have been gathering with family and friends, feasting, celebrating our beliefs and fortunes. See, our community is local, generous and peaceful. Much of America strives for such a local, homey feel. That feeling of being at home with others often is expressed in our foods. We buy and make food that has a story. The hickory nuts from our cousin’s yard, the beef from a old family farm, the potatoes from our own garden.
But our way of life is under attack. Believe it or not, the local food movement is under attack and people are being raided at gun point and treated as if they were drug dealers simple for participating in one of the oldest professions of mankind: selling food that they produce.
This month an Ohio family experienced just such a raid. The Manna Storehouse, owned and operated by the Stower’s family was raided at gunpoint and their house ransacked and many possessions were confiscated. Mind you, they are not accused of any crime at this point. No one suggested that drugs or violence or fiscal irregularities are suspected. The DEA is not involved, the IRS is not involved, the Federal Marshall’s are not involved. No, the armed men are led by the Ohio State Agriculture Department and the County Health Department.
The great “threat” of the Stower’s to public health and state agriculture is their farm co-op business. See, the Stower’s sell food straight from their farm to people who feed their families with the food. This is not a public store where they sell their eggs to just anyone off the street. They provide grass-fed beef, lamb, pastured poultry and other Weston-Price-style foods to people who have joined their food buying club. The Stower’s provide their food in a direct relationship between themselves and those who purchase the food. In other words, they, as individuals sell food directly to other individuals who agree to buy directly from them. At this point, they have not been charged with anything! Yes that is right, no charges have been filed.
The Stower’s, their children, and some in-laws were held at gunpoint in a room for eight hours while their house was searched. They were shown a paper that was supposed to be a search warrant. The reason on this warrant was stated in the single word, “beef”. It is still unclear if this was a legal document. The Stower’s were not told why they were being held or searched.
Folks, this is very bad. The fact is that large corporations of all types, agriculture, medical, financial, are now so entwined with the government from federal to county that even gross violations of law and decency are performed with little accountability.
We have war in our own country. We are occupied by our own governments. For goodness sakes, these are people living in the same county pulling guns on peaceful, law-abiding people!
Something must be done. We must unite and help. We need to organize pre-emptively. We should know who our county officials are, make them state their views on direct sale farms publically. We should pre-emptively pass laws protecting our right to sell foods directly from our farms. And we need to help those on the front lines.
A legal defense fund has been set up for victims of farm raids. It is hard to believe but this is not a freak occurrence. Now mind you, I am not associated with these people, nor do I know them, so donate only after you investigate them to your own satisfaction: http://www.ftcldf.org/index.html
Also for references about this specific situation see:
http://thebovine.wordpress.com/2008/12/17/manna-storehouse-7-the-stowers-tell-their-story/
Also see the Buckeye Institute: http://www.buckeyeinstitute.org/article/1284 and hear their podcast: http://www.buckeyevoices.org/index.php?id=98
I would like to point out that I was not familiar with the Manna Storehouse before reading about this raid. They seem both like nice people and also people who may not approve of a liberal, homosexual like myself. I hope I am wrong about that. However, I do know that regardless of dogmas they may (or may not) have, it is my duty as a freedom-loving, community-defending man to take their side if the facts really are as they are presented.
Please, in this season, be grateful for all you have, and let’s plan to keep our good fortunes going by acting and planning to confront corruption and evil in the world.
Allen.
Allen @ December 21, 2008
